Conditioned to Tolerate Abuse

He threw his books down a third time. The six-foot male bolted upright in his chair. His eyes rolled inside their sockets. Everyone else leaned away from him and hurried out of the room, obviously glad the day was over - for them.

“You’ve got to leave. Ditch your stuff.” my guts shouted.

He had verbally assaulted me all day and I’d used every trick in the book to satisfy a difficult customer.

“Get out - now!” my intuition screamed and finally overrode my errant belief that I had caused this person’s volatile behaviour.

I turned to pick up my equipment.

Oh my God! What’s he doing?!  

He grabbed for both of my arms.

I escaped his double-fisted lunge by an inch and wedged my cart between us.

This was a meting room, not some back alley. I

s this really happening? Nobody will believe me. After all, wasn’t it in my job description to please customers? And didn’t my organization make it clear that they had better not receive any customer complaints?

Overwhelmed with fear, I stumbled into the hallway and blended in with the crowd walking past the empty hotel desk and into the parking lot.

Was he still following me? Who can help me? How do I call police? Will the police laugh at me?

I frantically looked back and threw stuff into my car. I stumbled and felt a jabbing pain as I caught myself and jumped inside.

Intuition blasted through my pain. “Get into the car! Lock your doors!”

I scrambled into my car. Breathing frantically, I heeded the voice, “No – turn that way instead!”

Still reeling from the threat of violence, I returned to the head office. Did the customer phone in complaints about me?

Within minutes, I realized this was merely a beginning.

Disciplinary proceedings began.

Against all organizational policies, the Collective Bargaining Agreement, and provincial laws I learned:

·      The event would not be debriefed.

·      The event would not be investigated.

·      My report of my injury was rewritten by someone.

·      My privacy was breached.

·      I was ordered to meet management without Union representation.

·      My actions and inactions were listed as the cause of the event.

Regular work assignments continued and in the “safe” confines of the head office, I was again the target of aggression from a different male customer.

Sheer panic erupted.

Outwardly, I remained calm as - four times - I verbally reported the customer’s aggressive behaviour to my employer. My employer disregarded my reports and told me I was obliged to serve the customer.

I hid in the bathroom and phoned my counsellor. There was space if I could get there in 20 minutes.

As I walked out of the office, I passed my employer, knowing that to reveal my panic would be career suicide.

My smiling veneer of professionalism paved my escape from the workplace.

And then the Angels’ interventions began.

“Sorry, I’m doubled booked. I can’t see you now,” my counselor deadpanned.

In a heartbeat, she saw my terror.

“But come in,” she led the way to her office, “What’s up?” 

Barley coherent, I summarized the near attacks.

“You are traumatized. You must see your family doctor. I am merely a registered clinical psychologist. You need to see your M.D.”

I dialed my doctor, “Yes, your doctor has an opening tomorrow at 9:00. Can you make that?”

I dialed my physiotherapist, “She had a cancelation for noon. Will that work for you?”

And so, began my journey.

I am grateful that about a year prior to these events, and in the regular course of life, I’d developed working relationships with three compassionate professionals. Somehow, they knew, they saw, they believed, and they offered their very best. They were my steady rock during this stormy time. On the home front, old friends steadied my self-doubt.

I was diagnosed with PTSD and away from work for six months.

I learned about somatic therapy, a treatment paradigm founded by Peter Levine, PhD. I studied his books, Waking the Tiger and In an Unspoken Voice. Along the way I discovered another form of somatic therapy called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) that psychologist Dr. Roger Callahan originated in the 1980s.

My PTSD dissipated.

The closing chapter had one more Angel. The workplace was doing everything to keep me from returning to my job. My money had run out; my job search was fruitless.

This Angel listened and heard something that made her say, “The way to get back to work is to be approved for Long Term Disability (LTD). These are the answers experts need to see.”

Within a week I was approved to receive LTD.

Within two days, the Union and the employer suddenly wanted to meet.

Within three days, I went back to work.

The driving force was that neither wanted to pay the LTD.

I’m thankful for the laws of the land.

I’m thankful for health care professionals, Unions and Collective Bargaining Units.

But more than anything, I’m thankful I could do the legwork

while Angels and good people helped me Stand Tall.